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Bored At Work

January 30, 2012 /BEING A FAT ASS /No Comments
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Monday… everyone’s least favorite day of the week (unless it’s a holiday or your birthday happens to fall on that day this year).

Work is EXTRA slow today so I’ve decided to spend my time at work making random Powerpoint presentations.

My first presentation will be a guide on how to become a successful shrimp boat captain since I watched Forrest Gump this weekend (note this probably won’t help you in anyway possible, expect waste 5 minutes of your day).

Enjoy http://www.mediafire.com/?wj8s4w8wppmia2j

 

Game of Throne Season 2 Trailer

January 30, 2012 /BEING A FAT ASS /No Comments
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WINTER IS COMING! Well not until April 1st…. which is another two months. WHY are you torturing me with all this waiting HBO, WHY?! For now here’s a little preview of ‘Game of Throne’ season 2 (I can’t wait to see the dragon!).

…We miss you Eddard!

Chinese New Year Preview

January 20, 2012 /BEING A FAT ASS /No Comments
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Here’s a glimpse of what Chinese New Year is like for me. This image was taken via Blackberry a few minutes ago at my parents warehouse in Brooklyn. It has most of the traditional/essential stuff (I’ll elaborate on food and stuff on Monday when I post pictures from dinner at my house).

At the top of table are incenses used to pray to different gods (if you couldn’t tell already, we’re Buddhist).  Today, we’re praying on behalf of the company; for success, for the health of our employees, and for a good year. On Monday (the actual day of the New Year) we do a similar set up but we pray for our own well being and for our family.

Yes, red envelopes are involved.
Yes, that is a fish on the table.
Yes, that is a duck on the table.

Burger King DELIVERS

January 13, 2012 /BEING A FAT ASS /No Comments
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Whoa whoa whoa WHOA WHOA. Burger. King. Delivers.

Okay, they only deliver in 4 locations so far.. but it’s said to expand to 16 locations in DC by the 23rd. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?! WORLD DOMINATION OF FAST FOOD DELIVERY IS STARTING TO HAPPEN! Ladies and gentlemen, this is a big f*cking deal. When you’re hungover that sunday morning you don’t have to leave your apartment to go get your onion rings and whopper.. you can order for delivery- this takes being a fatass to a whole different level.

I guess we have to wait for them to expand into other states but still.. baby steps people, baby steps.

Spongebob Cast Dubs Over Classic Films

January 11, 2012 /BEING A FAT ASS /No Comments
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The voice actors of Spongebob Squarepants dub their voices over classic movies (Casablanca, Singin’ in the Rain, and The Godfather)

FYI Spongebob does a great Marlon Brando.

via YouTuber TrippyRabbit389

30 Hornets KILL 30,000 Bees

January 11, 2012 /BEING A FAT ASS /No Comments
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My little brother just showed me so I thought I’d post it before I head off to bed. It’s basically the movie 300 but with less Spartans and more Persians, and the Spartans actually win in this one.

This also confirms my theory that if I ever got into a fight with a 100 kittens I’d totally win.

via the BBC and YouTuber davidwerl

(check the revenge of the Bees after the jump)

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Insert Star Wars Fat Joke Here

January 11, 2012 /BEING A FAT ASS /1 Comment
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I guess this guy has a lot of videos and is somewhat famous on Youtube now.

This was like 1000X funnier when I didn’t know that, but still worth a watch either way.

And for the title I was gonna go with Attack of the Carbs.

via youtuber boogie2988

Sex In Your Mouth: Chicken and Waffle Wings

January 7, 2012 /BEING A FAT ASS /No Comments
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Step 1. Acquire chicken wings

Step 2. Dip in batter

Step 3. Place batter-covered wings in waffle maker

Step 4. Become the most popular kid at the fat kids’ table

Drooool-I want these in and around my mouth. Seriously for one of these, I will trade you my friend’s virginity. And he’s a looker.

 

Via Dudefoods, which has more awesome drool worthy food items.

Pearl’s Deluxe Burgers & Deep-Fried Fries

December 19, 2011 /BEING A FAT ASS /No Comments

Being a fat ass takes a lot of work. You got to go on the internet, go to seamlessweb or delivery and then choose down the list of nearby vendors. You take a couple minutes thinking about what you’d like to swallow down in flavorless oil-congested gulps, and then an hour later you hate yourself.

To each their own but I thoroughly enjoy this routine. (more…)